Thursday, February 18, 2010

Women ...

Sure God created man before woman.  But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.  ~Author Unknown

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.  ~Carrie Snow

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.  ~Author Unknown

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.  ~Arnold Haultain

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.  Luckily, this is not difficult.  ~Charlotte Whitton

Women are always beautiful.
  ~Ville Valo

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.
  ~Ellery Queen

Curve:  The loveliest distance between two points
.  ~Mae West

Women get the last word in every argument.  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.  ~Author Unknown

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.
  ~Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad.  An optimist is a man who hopes they are.  ~Chauncey Mitchell Depew

The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.  ~Elizabeth Metcalf

A man's face is his autobiography.  A woman's face is her work of fiction.  ~Oscar Wilde

Men get laid, but women get screwed. 
~Quentin Crisp

The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges.
  ~Germaine Greer

However, I'm not denyin' the women are foolish:  God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
  ~George Eliot, "The Harvest Supper," Adam Bede

Women really do rule the world.  They just haven't figured it out yet.  When they do, and they will, we're all in big big trouble.  ~"Doctor Leon,"

Ah, women.  They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.  ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.
  ~George Meredith

Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls. 
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Be to her virtues very kind,
Be to her faults a little blind.

~Matthew Prior

They may talk of a comet, or a burning mountain, or some such bagatelle; but to me a modest woman, dressed out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the whole creation.  ~Oliver Goldsmith

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.  ~Aristotle Onassis 

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.  ~Alexandre Dumas, fils

A woman should soften but not weaken a man.  ~Sigmund Freud

Women are in league with each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts and pheromones.  ~Camille Paglia  

A woman wears her tears like jewelry.  ~Author Unknown

If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late?  Nobody.  ~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye 

No woman wants to see herself too clearly.  ~Mignon McLaughlin

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.  ~Stanley Baldwin

Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen.  ~Compton Mackenzie

A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.  ~Karl Kraus
Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.
  ~William Shakespeare

To get to a woman's heart, a man must first use his own.  ~Mike Dobbertin

Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal.  ~William Shakespeare

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
  ~James Thurber

I hate women because they always know where things are.  ~Voltaire  

Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.  ~Hermione Gingold


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