Saturday, April 30, 2011

A lazy Saturday thought

Hola, sweet readers! 
Whoever checking out my blog, you are the sweetest...

I started up this week with blank and baffled mind. I just got off the flight from my hometown and must have back to work in this small, beautiful city with GMT+8 timezone. Less than 1 hour from my arrival here, I did not have enough time to even breathing. Heading back to the office and stuff. Dealing with the assignments and these were crazy.

My head was like, "Hey, I just arrived here. Don't you see that, universe? Could you give me a break for a lil while?"

And yeah, of course, the universe responded, "No, nerd. Get your butt back to that boring chair and your eyes on your laptop. Quit sighing, and please just doing this like you don't have another dream to pursue."

Me, "Alright, alright. You know what, universe, I agree with you at this point. I must conquer my fear and deepest longing of good people whom I love. Let's do this!"

Yet, this is true. You must have known, if you've read my blog before, that being a Virgo is (sometimes) confusing. I really do want to kick my own gut and slap my face hard. Future anxiety -- things haven't happened yet, just my imagination/prediction -- combine with getting-stuff-done-perfectly oriented and neat and organized traits; how can all of these not make me screaming to the wall?

This, again, relates to my goal in life. I am now 21 and thinking that I recognized what I want to do in my life, eventually. This emerged from my day-to-day thinking (Do you know that my mind keeps on wheeling around even when I am so tired and just want to lay relax on my bed?).

It probably sounds silly that a 21-year-old nerdy young woman thinks that she know what she wants. Me do laugh at myself about this. Do I really know? Do I?

I am not about to put it down here -- what I want in my life. But somehow, it's kind of similar with all people in the world want. One of my good blogger friend once said this (I forgot what she stated, but the point is sticked): "As you're more and more growing up, you will be knowing yourself better and far better than before."

Yep, true saying. 

Even I may be saying this in the future, "What the hell was I thinking back then doing this; doing that?". I think it's not regretting. It's normal, being sorry for what myself had done in my past that I think it didn't bring me any of either benefit or improvement. I had done some stupid and what-the-fudge things as I was teenage. I had my lesson and I knew it would generate me a changing, a transformation into a better person. Indeed, it does.

I am grateful of what I had been doing with my academics world, and even I am in hunger for master's degree. Getting one step higher degree is cool, isn't it? I count it as a bonus though. I want to study what I really eager to divine. Besides this academic thing, I do set my heart for my family. I also want to build my own mogul by being an entrepreneur -- daddy gives this gene of willingness. I want to be mentally and physically happy. 

Happiness, one vague, ambiguous and common word. Isn't it what people searching for in the entire life?

Putting it short, my deep ego is going like this:
I want to pour my thoughts, my critical thinking and my sense of seeing and feeling the world from all sides of perspective. I want to converse with foreign people, with great, inspiring and beyond-brilliant strangers all over the world. I want to take some shots to support my thinking (and my thirst of exploring). I want to pour them all into words. 

I want not to be judged in how I am so curious about everything, that I always read every words found in the street, on the billboard and poster. I want to have my flashback-moment and face-expression showing while I'm typing this thoughts. I want to have back my pulse of what other renowned, skilled people-in-this-field thinking of what I've put down there. I am eager to dig and acquire people's life: their culture, customs, obstacles, greatness, achievement, sadness and more. 

I want other people in other part of the world recognize that these strange-people are human, they are exist, they do the same activity like us -- but hey, they have a life like this, like that. 
They do something you've never imagined that you might do that as well. They are smart, they are sad -- they can do this, why can't you? 
They have muffin tops, big nose, fair skin; or they are slender, wanting to have a typical-tropical sunkiss skin; they have big foot, or they're small, they're so pretty even you'd hate yourself; they are unlucky, and you should now start to be more grateful, and more...

Crap, now I am rambling around. And this has been long enough as one posting.

Can you guess what is that (my dream) job about? ;)

*recent muses*
Kipling snake-skin leather SLR bag
The remarkable Cindy Crawford
Javier Bardem, my kind of guy - the older he gets, the hotter he appears... Shoot!

Have a great day!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

it's good to know what you want in life, not to say that things can't change. i say, keep shooting for that dream, but keep it flexible! xxx

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