Friday, April 13, 2012

Am I mature enough?

This kind of topic emerged as my parents (esp. my mother) gave me some parent-daughter ‘counseling’ when I flew home last week. I had no personal hard feeling or dreariness in listening and chitchatting with them in the session. I am always that person who thinks it’s blissful to receive critics or input from others, of course by considering who they are in my life. But after a while, I started to think whether they “trust” me for my own happiness – whether they already see me as a responsible, mature woman who has the world with its consequences in my hand.

You can say that I am a “wise-beyond-years” person ever since I was a little. I keen on hanging out and having conversations with a group of people whose ages and personality are considered mature. Being in the middle of them is valuable. From casual, to futile, to meaningful and serious talks, I don’t feel bored to death at all. The talks, the way they behave and bring themselves, as well as a their diverse way of thinking and viewpoint enthrall me a lot. Some may be wondering why the hell hanging out with “grown-up” people is fun.

Those grown-up people are not defined by the years they were born or the pretty wrinkles that adorned their face. Grown-up is people that are being mature, let alone the ages aside.

When I’m typing this right now, I’m a 22-year-old, considered a grown-up and society expects to me to act in manner and maturity. It isn’t wrong, at all. Anyhow, how often do we witness people around us, with the age of 20-something or maybe in 30s and above, response life as if they were children? How many times do we whine about people that look mature physically, but do not act in such likely manner? Are we one of them? Am I one of those people?

Realize it or not, by spending time with mature people, I tend to be one of them – who thinks, says, responds and acts like a real, swagger grown-up. I am glad to have this feature, anyway. It’s not that I forget how to have a great time with this 20-something moment in my life and my peers. It’s simply I know what I like, how to handle my abhorrence towards some people, what to say and to wear. Furthermore, I realize my limitations, I can live through my fear, my ability, my weaknesses and my appeals.

From time to time, I know how to hide myself in front of people, when to “fake it till you make it” and to reveal myself to others. I am aware of my self-conscious and lack of confident, of my straight-looking, devilish face; of my bad habits and favorite snacks that would be a factor in gaining weight. I may opt to say what’s on my mind truthfully, politely or just keep it to myself.

Being mature denotes that you are aware of the “right” things to do. It’s about having depth and integrity; not superficial and deceit – to yourself and people. It’s about talking things thoroughly and responding life with a clear, unemotional mind; not throwing outburst and act with instinct. Maturity is about observing situations from different perspectives, open for feedbacks and criticisms, accept various kinds of jokes and words which people may shout.

Absolutely, responsibility is another essential attribute in every aspect of life. For me, mature and responsible are two distinctive things. While mature is apt for bringing and putting yourself as appropriate as possible without burying your true self; responsible is about answering your own actions, obligations and taking care of your own matters. Responsible also stands for the commitment to things that you decide to do, not to put things off whatever the reasons would be, awareness of the consequences of certain behaviors and, the most focal one, being trustworthy. Such a person that can be trusted means he/she depends on him/herself upon completing things and prove that people can count on them.

These past couple days, I had also thought about forgiveness. Not to people or frenemies, but to myself. I experienced some moments in my life that made me upset and frustrated, and sensed them deeply to perceive if those were caused by people that I suspected or myself. It was surprising to find out that it was me that made myself grieving. starting this time, I forgive myself for everything I haven’t yet accomplished, for things I am not able to do, for every single things I wish I could do but I didn’t.

Ultimately, do my parents think I am (not) mature enough? 


“Growing up is never easy.
You hold on to things that were.
You wonder what's to come.
But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come.
The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older.
We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.”    –The Wonder Years (TV series)



in HER shoes said...

growing up is never easy. that is for sure. once you think you've figured things out, you really haven't. as long as you are open to learning new things and making mistakes, it should be a great ride. miss you my friend. xo

sumayyabasir said...

Hello Mel!

Nice writing bro *eh. I'm facing the same problem with you. What is maturity? Are we mature enough? Etc etc.

That aside, how are you?

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