Sunday, April 15, 2012

Honesty for intimacy

They say that honesty and integrity would bring one to a further level of life, which leads to a self-peaceful and satisfaction. When you feel serene inside, calm with yourself, then the contentment comes upon and it feels like nothing’s wrong. You are grateful for everything you have. It is God who rocks it.

Even though at some points the sincerity may disturb a few people and can cause a difficulty in telling a little lie in a particular moment, you can never your angelic side of being truthful. You are honest by saying what you really think, feel, your opinion, fear and even act with no fake – with a manner of politeness, which are, of course, varied depends on whom you interact with.

Don’t you get it?

You can only tell frankly what you want them to know only if you trust them. Speaking of trust, for me, it is a hard stage. I can never fully trust someone I just met or some acquaintances or even frequently-meet friends. I can’t even reveal my true self to them, it’s like I hide my another 60%-self to these people whenever I interact. I don’t think I am ready to let them see my true color, and I don’t think it matters to them – absolutely they could not care less of my “existence” either. So shy should I bare everything to the public?

In fact, this character seemingly has been on me since forever. I tend to talk or act as modest as possible in front of people because I don’t want them think I’m a annoying person. It’s not about their sudden judgment towards me, but it’s about how slowly I should expose myself just for my own goodness.

The longer and more often time I hang out with people, the deeper my emotional would be involved with. It means that I unhurriedly learn how they tell stories, how they respond things, how they laugh and show off their feeling a bit and their expression, gestures and movements. It sounds complicated, but that’s natural for me. 

Slowly but sure, I unconsciously decide whether these persons are worthy to befriend closely or only for fun. At the time I choose my close friends is the time I am comfortable to bare myself, and so are they.

This is essentially important as I am not searching for a short-time, meaningless camaraderie. What’s for anyway? I need them until we grow old. We need each other to simply share secrets, painful and happy stories, do brainstorming, even when we yell for help and get to know one another’s families. Yes, it looks as if we’re lovers. What’s the difference?

All of us had better be honest to our lovers, as well. We are happy if nothing’s concealed, aren’t we? Being open to each other, communicate what’s on our minds and show each other’s world along with the people within. No camouflage, no two-face personality and no shame in letting him/her see you cry at a moment.

The bottom line is find the comfortable feeling in yourself while you are intermingling with others, be them your friends, not-so-close ones and lovers. When you’re comfortable and being yourself, nothing else matters. 

That’s why I value and appreciate much on intimacy and closeness that can be measured by not how frequent you meet and talk with them, but by how profound the conversations occur.

Have a beautiful day, people!

1 comment:

qori sierra said...

somewhat agree wuth you.
That the intensity meeting each other will not measure any possibility to become close-pals. But the way we conduct the conversation with meanings and lessons inside, that's the point. :)


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