Saturday, December 22, 2012

The meaning




"I LOVE YOU ALSO MEANS I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE LOVES YOU, OR HAS LOVED YOU, OR WILL LOVE YOU, AND ALSO, I LOVE YOU IN A WAY THAT NO ONE LOVES YOU, OR HAS LOVED YOU, OR WILL LOVE YOU, AND ALSO, I LOVE YOU IN A WAY THAT I LOVE NO ONE ELSE, AND NEVER HAVE LOVED ANYONE ELSE, AND NEVER WILL LOVE ANYONE ELSE."

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Le last weekends…

So, I guess this is my official last weekends in Soroako -- the not-everyone-knows city where I’ve been working (and putting some weights). Starting the following week and onwards, Jakarta would be my hometown again. It is not suck, really. 

I started to embrace the fact that Jakarta is the city I’ve been living almost in my whole life – until now I even still going back and forth for some business. Heaven knows I will be adapting and trying my gah-damn best living with the Jakarta’s fast lane and hectic situation. *Cross-fingering* 

Not to forget the new job and new office in the new year, with some new hopes and dreams. The new office location is kind of a bit far from where I live now – hello jam-packed streets and traffic! And I’ve been planning this “rehearsal” thing about what to ride to get there on time, alongside with the estimated time so I won’t be shocked that I don’t know using which public transportation to get there in-time. Such an organized maniac, aren’t I? 

Lake Matano seen from Ide Beach. I'm going to miss this a LOT!

How does it feel now about leaving this place? 

It’s mixed up. Yes, I’m indeed feeling sad. However it’s not one thing that I feel at the moment. Happy, relieved, excited for the new “challenge” – and heartbreaking because I know this place is unbeatable for everything it has! The nature and landscapes, the hills, the available and empty jogging tracks, the kindness of its people, the weather and fresh air that I breathe (beat that, Jakarta!!!), the lake (OMG! I will miss the freshwater diving, canoeing, snorkeling and swimming here…), and the MOST DELICIOUS COTO ON EARTH (coto ibu in Pasar Lama – the Old Market). 

Additionally, in spite of those features of Soroako, there is simply more than that. I will also miss the slooooooow internet connection here, the hard-to-find delicious foods, the unpredictable rainy days, the cozy workdays, the drama and gossips, doing runs, walks and basketball, some boring nights and blackout days, as well as the public protest that causes me unable to go to the office and work from home then. 

You know what Soroako locals say about “outsiders” who have lived in Soroako? They will surely comeback. It is not about drinking Lake Matano water nor a famous myth. Some proofs have confirmed this situation (they say). Either they will be back to Soroako soon or within some years ahead, it’s just about time. Well, who doesn’t love Soroako for everything it owns? You just gotta step your foot here, and you’ll know the reason why everybody loves Soroako. 

Anyway, I haven’t exactly finished my packing – the boxes, luggages and all. It’s only around 48.37% completed, but more things need to be packed immediately. I need to ship them one or two days before I leave. This is really a big homework, talk about moving when your things are just excessively here and there in piles!

xxx

It’s your day! xxx

Happy birthday, gorgeous ! 


Wholeheartedly, I really hope your wishes come true this year ahead, at all its best. I wish I were there accompany you today. Probably cook some dinner and give some delicious birthday cake that I choose the flavor by myself. 

I wish you everything that God knows best. I wish you nothing but health, happiness, prosperity and kindness for all your life. I wish you more than the world and the sky that cannot be compared. I wish you love and warm hugs today, tomorrow and forever. 

 Bisous! ;) 

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Things Work Out

Because it rains when we wish it wouldn’t, 
Because men do what they often shouldn’t,
Because crops fail, and plans go wrong 
Some of us grumble all day long. 
But somehow, in spite of the care and doubt, 
It seems at last that things work out. 

Because we lose where we hoped to gain, 
Because we suffer a little pain, 
Because we must work when we’d like to play 
Some of us whimper along life’s way. 
But somehow, as day always follows the night, 
Most of our troubles work out all right. 

Because we cannot forever smile, 
Because we must trudge in the dust awhile, 
Because we think that the way is long 
Some of us whimper that life’s all wrong. 
But somehow we live and our sky grows bright, 
And everything seems to work out all right. 

So bend to your trouble and meet your care, 
For the clouds must break, and the sky grow fair. 
Let the rain come down, as it must and will, 
But keep on working and hoping still. 
For in spite of the grumblers who stand about, 
Somehow, it seems, all things work out. 

-Edgar A. Guest

Saturday, December 8, 2012

How

Feelings have caught me really well. I’ve been completely joyful, miserable, tedious, upset, exhausted and hungry. Is this some kind of bullshit? NO! I feel like plain; empty. 

I have completed everything, everyone’s business; but unfortunately not mine. Why should I mind my own business while others are busy bothering me with theirs? 

Feelings suck. Within a second, it can alter your own decision, your current thought, your desired doubt, your unexpected anger, your rare happiness, your hidden beauty and yourself. Within a minute, it will transform how the world looks at you, how your mother feels about you, how your brother thinks of you and how the society judges you. 

Feelings are bliss in gah-damn disguise. They say I cannot show my emotion in whatever circumstances, whenever and wherever the public goes. If I do that, I would die in embarrassment. What's more, people can directly and naturally tell me who I am and what my life is all about by simply watching me cry or cursing or silence or mad or being fabulous. Who are they anyway? Have they been stepping on my shoes? 

Feeling – it can be other people’s treasure and trash; at the same time, repulsively. Some celebrate it, some rebuff it. The timebomb will say it all in the end. You cannot be mortified of what you just said; it’s called honesty. You cannot be pessimist with your self esteem; it’s called humble. You cannot be overthinking and overreacted; it’s called excited. You cannot… I believe I’m expecting too much about everything, yet I have no getaways ahead of me. I don’t want to be trapped in the rat race; and the rat race will be fucked up playing with me. 

I know what they say about worry. Don’t. 



-Amelia Winnie

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Love. Whatever it is.



"I think love — and all great relationships are about companionship. It’s about watching movies together, cooking meals for dinner, shopping for groceries, deciding on the countries to visit for the next 6-month trip, arguing about which is best: tea or coffee, attacking pastries in a small bakery, driving around listening to the radio and singing stupid songs, laughing on the floor to some random jokes only the two of you understand, stopping for a while on a crowded street to pet a stray cat or dog, cleaning up the mess at the terrace after last night’s rain. It’s about someone with whom you can talk for hours about different things, someone who can be your best friend at all times, who will always be around to support you. 

Best friends are those who will always become a clear mirror of yourself, showing your true reflection. They are not bound to you, yet they will always be near because they like you and you like them (you can “love” someone you don’t like, though—that’s why some women and men are still involved in abusive relationships). 

Best friends like you for all your great qualities and embrace your flaws without any terms or conditions. So, when it comes to best friends, no matter how long you haven’t been talking to each other, and no matter how bad your latest argument has been, when there’s something very pressing, you’ll know whom to turn to, whom you can count on, whom you can go home to. 

So, what I want from love is someone I can grow old with, gracefully, and that the two of us can be best friends to each other, no matter what."

(inspo from beradadisini)

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

...because life is simply short

Thank you, God, for giving me another year of life. 

Thank you for all the experience of this past year; 
for times of success which will always be happy memories,
for times of failure which reminded me of my own weakness and of my need for You, 
for times of joy when the sun was shining, 
for times of sadness which drove me to You. 

Forgive me for the hours I wasted,
for the chances I failed to take,
for the opportunities I missed this past year. 

Help me in the days ahead to make everyday is best day and through it to bring good credit to myself, happiness and pride to my loved ones, and joy to everyone...

photo by me

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