Tuesday, December 17, 2013

'Santa Classics' by Ed Wheeler

Artist/Photographer Ed Wheeler has been in the art industry for around 35 years. Ed has photographed people, places and things for some of the most important corporations in America. He has always worked on personal projects "to maintain his sanity". He created a his Santa self-portraits for about 20 years. 

Entitled "Santa Classics", the project is about photos of his creations where he inserted Santa into classic works - Vermeer, Manet, Caravaggio, Rousseau, Botticelli, and more. Super funny and artistic enough to make you amazed. Check them out!

Monday, December 9, 2013

Catching up for a moment

Wew, the year of 2013 seems to run fast like the Road Runner! Talking about the past months that I've been trying to get my shit together as a young adult, 2013 is surely a hell. I am wondering myself how could I survive the year and get through today? I guess that's what the quote "It always seems impossible until it's done" meant.

Moving to new job, new workplace which is quite a distance away from home is another thing. I can't even complain but feeling grateful of what I have, experience and feel in every step of the way. Have I been tired commuting from office to home and reverse? YES. Has it been so difficult finding time to even doing what I love, hobby and stuff? YES. Has it been tough to manage work challenges? YES.

The point is, I don't want to stress out anymore. This is my lesson learned. I was sick, got thyroid illness and something like that in which I've never experienced ever in my life. So I thought, why the heck I put my mind, my body, my health and my thought on the tip of any misery again? I need to handle my overthinking and the want-it-to-be-freaking-perfect that virgo-ish feature instead, and learn to relax and let it loose.

How was it? Does it work? Well, I can't say that I master it in one night, but there's progress. I try to calm down when things seem to be out of the plan that I made to myself. I seek the brightside, the future, and remember that nothing's permanent. I may have a bad day today or these hours, but I am the one who control myself when shit happens, and I can have great hours and days whenever I want to. You know, positive and bright vibes.

It is no secret that my head is still occupied with mixed stuff, necessary or not. But anyway, that would always be my head, it doesn't change. The things that changes is my action upon something, to always wisely choose what to show, do and neglect regarding my full-of-thoughts-and-ideas head. Is it gonna be easy? No. But it's damn worth to do.


Saturday, November 2, 2013


There’s a saying that stuck in my head, no matter what: “In the end of the day, you always ended up alone. We all do.” I used to stick with it because I was too metal (that song genre, not that alloy material), and saw everything in an opposite – you know, me against the world. So I didn’t much believe in other people and something called “forever”.

Nonetheless, seeing and experiencing things so much these past few years growing up, it’s always a lot more than meets the eye. Yes, I still do not give my trust generously to people. But I’ve been trusting some good friends and people, it’s a good progress for me. In some point, I haven’t been really alone. I thought about it and came at a conclusion that perhaps when I trust people and we got well, closer and really good, things would go wrong. And when it did, I would have nobody. However, the bottom line is: I overthink. I complicate myself when I shouldn’t have to, and why is that? Why do I always make things difficult, even for my own life?

At the moment, I feel it again. I feel that I am alone – as if it could’ve not sounded more desperate. I’m entering the new job, meaning new workplace, new situation, new people I know nothing about, new challenges, new environment and all new fudging things. Like, my life isn’t crowded enough to handle right now, they keep coming. I worry things would get messy in the new place, I have no idea about the new workplace culture and issues to deal with, but I need to drive on because I have works to do. What works? That I am still figuring out – hello first-day girl!

Another thing is I’m not in a good shape either. I’ve been sick and sick and sick and not being able to go working out because I’m sick. It’s been few weeks and I’m super done with sick. My endorphin intake has to be stopped for a while for a good health recovery.

Meanwhile, the endorphin is what keeps me alive with all crazy stuff revolving. And these sicknesses are weird, I’ve never had them before. Plus, the most annoying thing to hear was all of these doctors said were, “You’re worn out, darling. You’re stressed. Let it go, don’t be too anxious and tense.” Or, “You’re undernourishment. Eat well, nutritious foods, have some milks – the low-fat ones if you must...” Come on, docs!

I am literally alone in this. Everyone’s busy, including my family. My boyfriend? I don’t even want to bring him into this little thunderstorm of mine. He’s already occupied with his stuff and work deadline, I cannot even tell him what’s really going on in my life because it’s my problem to solve, not him.

At the end of the day, that saying was right. I end up alone, right now. But I’m a big girl so I need to suck it up and do it all alone. Wish me luck?


Thursday, October 24, 2013

A dog and a wild idea

It is often said that dogs (or cats) are human’s bestfriend – well, genuinely it’s any kind of animals that may suit your personality. They seem to brighten our lives, cheer the moods and bring an unutterable nuance of warm. Thus, we undeniably find them charming – filling that emptiness of our hearts that no humans can step in.

However, I’m not talking about me or my pets. I don’t have one, blame my parents. It’s about a photo-journey project by Theron Humphrey who is going across the United States with his camera to document the lives of everyday people. Theron is a notable photographer whose works have been acknowledged by National Geographic, People Magazine, NY Post, Chicago Tribune, and many more.

Entitled This Wild Idea, his project has taken him over 17,000 miles with 1,852 photos, each with their own exceptional story to tell. Along the way, Theron captured his Maine coonhound dog named Maddie, perched atop and stood on funny or strange things. This side project is called Maddie on Things is uber amusing yet lovely.

It narrates another important and serious project that Theron ignited, Why We Rescue. As described, it is “a yearlong story-telling documentary that is traversing across all 50 states highlighting how pets transform our lives for the better. This project is an opportunity to share everyday stories on how those pets can open our homes and hearts to the world... we are telling one shelter/rescue pet story in each state.”

As Theron is raising various awesome, heartwarming projects, Maddie On Things apparently caught me the most. The images are frivolous, fun and fascinating. Maddie sits on Theron, a couch, wears jacket, inside a backpack – well, you get the idea – couldn’t have been more quirky enough to show how the relationship between Theron and Maddie is real.

This makes me craving more to have my own four-legged bestfriend. I want them to be able to do medium to high-level of activity, smart, adaptable, sporty and in sizes of medium to large – forget the small, cuddly dogs. You know, I always got an eye for Golden or Labrador Retriever, Siberian Husky or German Shepherd. One more thing, they’re big and need thorough treatment, training and care. So, yeah...

 *Read The Huffington Post interview with Theron about his project here.

Friday, October 18, 2013

It isn't about skinny or fat, it's about HOT!

"Curves don't epitomise a woman. Saying, 'Skinny is ugly' should be no more acceptable than saying fat is. I find all this stuff a very controlling and effective way of making women obsess over their weight, instead of exploiting their more important attributes, such as intellect, strength and power.

We could be getting angry about unequal pay and unequal opportunities, but we're too busy being told we're not thin enough or curvy enough. We're holding ourselves back. However, the damage occurs when the media continues to only use images of excessively thin women and no other variant sizing."

- Robyn Lawley, a 23-year-old International model, 6 ft 2 inches and a size 12.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

You will worry

"Do not worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older it will avoid you."
-Joey Adams 

Friday, October 4, 2013

Hi, I'm a 20-something gurl! This is a story of my life...

My birthday has passed – September 9, 2013. And yes family and friends wished me best of luck, if not something else. Yes, I’m grateful being in the place where I am now in my 24th. And thanks God, I’m in my superb condition and other great things. 

But the birthday spark has long gone, for me. I don’t really see celebrating the day I was born is something sacred, special or one in a million moment. And in this last birthday I was a little bit stressed out – but hey relax, I could handle it. 

Living in 20-something phase of life is terrible. I should force myself to bust my ass off within 24/7. I must get up so early just for the sake of workplace finger-print. I want to figure out what I wanna do in life as myself, not as someone’s employee – but dammit I work my energy for stuff they pay me. Of course I need money for living, you know girl’s gotta eat. For a second, I thought I know what my life is supposed to be, but then I was in doubt. I shift my mind as quick as shit, blame my overthinking brain capacity. 

What the hell, but I am still young at heart. When bad days come, I think of doing nothing. I want to just play, travel, take photograph, hangout and laugh so hard without having the weight of the world on my shoulder. When I want to go adventurous in the nature or wild in the city, I just do it without considering my parents’ expectation of me. When I feel a bit sassy, I want to burst in the most happening boutiques and stores to grab whatever the hell I want and don’t care with how much I need to save. 

This growing-up timetable seems a bit confusing. I know what I have accomplished right now is not really the best that I can pull off. With many personal things going on and on these days, being miserable and sabotaging my own life are on a daily basis. Ha! Loathing reality is way much easier than consider my blessings. I know I am not alone, face it. But yeah, it is what it is – that sometimes I need to review what my life has been going through in order to understand what I really want to do and improve for the future. 


Monday, August 26, 2013

In your own shoes

From the very beginning you started to see yourself in the mirror, you knew you're going to be "something". Even though you had yourself some milk, ice cream and chocolate stained on the mouth. You're too lazy to clean up and went straight to your warm blanket. 

Not so long, you saw people, several friend and strangers seemingly got busy with whatever they did. You wondered whether they recognized your kindness or stupidity. You waved hands until your hands became numb; then you said you should've not care at all. After all, you looked at your plates and started to work on it - you got things done. 

Bustling with your surrounding has been your routine. The hassles once you thought did matter, they actually didn't. People once you felt were profound, they turned out to be all suckers and hoes. They haven’t been heeded about anything you feel and think. They have lost integrity for the sake of getting whatever they wanted or they think were extremely important that they cannot live without. 

Nevertheless, you keep on walking. Alone and don’t care. When pebbles tackled and confronted you, yes you’re scared, but what the hell. You think of what worse could possibly stop you. For a second you might think to just give up and die, but you didn’t. When people threatened you with their expectations, you’re choked and feeling bad of yourself. 

Now, when things get on wheel for bad or good situation, you seem to relax. You’re alive and breathing, sensing the future and dreams. You’re kissing the happiness and cuddling the hopes. What's in your head doesn’t do you anymore, at least 43 percent of it. You need to fix yourself and build up a strong character. You pat yourself on the back and whisper, “Great job, have fun, missy!” 

Because, you know, fuck everything else.


Sunday, August 11, 2013

A little note...

The Evening Gown (1954) - René Magritte

Every negative emotion we've ever had, no matter how meek or well-hidden, has come from the lack of what we really wanted (mostly, admit it?). Take blame, for instance. We blame someone or something for giving us what we do not want, which is only the lack of whatever it is we do want.

We're worried about losing someone or something, so we're fearing the absence of - the lack of - that something or someone.

We're fearful of things "out there", because we lack the feeling of safety.

We justify and rationalize, because we lack of someone's approval - even our own!

We feel depressed, because we don't have something we want, even if it's nothing more than feeling good.

We feel anxious, because we lack the time or resources to produce.

We feel insecure about ourselves, because we tend to underestimate or doubt ourselves of what we capable of.

Every negative feeling in the dictionary comes from lack. And thank goodness for that! I am saying that thinking and feeling positive are a lot easier said than done. However, if we're willing to make our seconds in life better and expand the excitement within, we certainly can! And how?

It's the feelings that would do it, not the thoughts alone. It's the feeeeeelings and feelings and feelings that come from out thoughts.You know what, we get what we focus on!


Sunday, August 4, 2013

Eat it

I haven't had quite shaum (fasting) month well this year. The last 2 weeks of Ramadan, I must not to go fasting. Y'all hear it, "must". You ask me why? Well, it's an "illness" thing - even though I haven't been feeling that sick. It is glandular inflammation/infection kind of thing, which mixed up with skin allergies. They strike my left-back head and neck, which has a little lump inside. The doctor said it was because I was tired, stressed or a little bit under pressure and lack of nutrition. Lack of nutrition, halo, you sure?

At first week, I had a little dizziness inside my left head. It was strange as I had never ever in my life gotten that bad headache. It attacked me only when I was moving unpredictably, but not in the same pattern of movements (like nodding, fast walking, stretching my arms and so on). I was confused and thought I probably hit myself while sleeping so I got the headache. 

In the following week, it got much worse. It felt like my head was electrocuted - again, with undefined moves. I had to close my eyes just to let the pain off then continuing my activities. I dare to say I was scared to death, until a lil cute swelling showed up on my left neck. ZOMG, what the heck happened with me?!

Now, after a week of taking medicines and bed rest, it's starting to get better. I need to visit the doctor as my swelling hasn't been indicating any signs of disappearing from my neck and some little wounds of allergic appearing on my bottom left face. They are like wounds when you just fall down from your bicycle, open wounds stuff. They are little, but hurt and itchy. Getting more and more exciting huh? Eugh.

On the other hand, while my neck and head are collaborated in "such" way, my stamina and energy are just doing fine. Actually, I even thought I could go to the office, do some workouts and sports as usual; but I really can't and shouldn't. The doctor even wrote me for bed rest in my last week of working days before the Ied al-Fitr holiday rolling. (Hoorah earlier holiday, mama love ya!) And I need to emphasize the rest and another stay-at-home boring stuff more.

I believe this would get better soon as long as I keep going with the right meal and rest. I have my faith that this will pass, that this is not something I can't handle. Yes, it takes time to heal. Oh, have I told you the doctor said spicy foods, chips and snacks as well as fried foods are restricted for a little while

I've been thinking... sometimes, God has a really unique way to talk to you. When you ignore your body signals, you can keep going to what the hell you're doing. When your body screams out for a little time to rest, you neglect it as if you get nothing to lose. Well, I don't think I have my second thought about this anymore in the future. Why don't I listen to my body? Why don't I treat myself right? My body is my own temple and the only thing that carries my whole journey so far and forever, right? 

Probably, when stresses try again to strike me, I should try to keep calm and think straight. When I feel fatigue, have some time to rest. In the end of the day, it costs me nothing but health. And now, health is so damn expensive. Investment, buddies, invest in your own healthy mind and body.


Tuesday, July 16, 2013


I often feel weak about myself. Like I cannot do what I want to do, that beforehand was really looking forward to it. I feel so weird and, uhm, lost? Nah, I don't need to be rescued and told that I am greater that I thought, and that stuff. Seriously, everything that I need right this sec would be just................... a slice of cheese cake!

Maaan, I miss traveling so much. The joy of asking local people of some directions, of some inns, good food, negotiating for a good price of car rent, speed boat, and also the scuba diving package. The irresistible feeling of smelling the salty, breezy winds of the ocean; rubbing the wet dirts in the hills and roads; as well as the weariness of the last night hours of walks.

Well, you want me to be honest? I don't really fancy living and bustling here in the metropolitan. There I said it. At some point, it's good for my improvement in many things: Behave appropriately, work with ethic, do professionalism in any kind of occasion, network and expand contacts, get to update the latest of fashion trends (and sale, of course), taste any foods as varied as possible, and (unfortunately) have to breath the very, very bad air. 

What I'm trying to say is I need to share this odd feeling of mine that has been lasting for few days - and keeps rolling. I can only embrace it right now, probably need some distraction and escape, while I have no idea where I must go for that. 

Or perhaps, all I need is really a cheese cake, the most juicy one!

Yeah whtvr.


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Why do we do it?

We do it for those tiny, precious moments. Not just the two of us, but anyone who’s ever swallowed the salty ocean, swam in the sea, climbed a mountain or hoisted a sail. 

The rewards are far greater than all the effort, time and money we spend – and sometimes we just need to remember that. Sometimes, our friends, family and people can’t understand that. That’s okay. 

Because those adventures can suck. Your knees hurt, you run out of water, you blister and bleed yourself, you try to find some place safe to sleep, it gets dark and you need to pee in the middle of nowhere, or you’re still three miles from the suburb. Maybe you get held down by the waves, weather, sudden fever and cold, or rip your leg open on some coral. Your bank account hits empty because you need new boots because the old ones are ripped off and your carrier has to be retired. Or you need to pay some debts and households necessities. 

Still, when I look at our photos, I don’t remember how damn tired I was doing all those stuff — I just remember how incredible that moment felt. And that’s why we do it.



Thursday, June 20, 2013

Lust for a break

I'm not denying that I'm effing glad hearing the news that (another) global fashion retail H&M is about to open their flagship store in Indonesia. Well yeah, talking about an efficient, stylish way to grab your favorite, trendy and affordable fashion items in Indonesia; and no need to fly to neighborhood countries for it. Cheers?

Anyway, in the lunch break yesterday, I tried the online styling page on H&M website. I can say it was fun, even though I was wondering why the closet selection was not that much. You can try it yourself here - it looks like you play the great-old Looklet.com (it's not that fun anymore, sad sad...).

Here what I've got.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


“The grass is greener on the other side” tells it all. We often want what others have. We get mad when we cannot live like our neighbors live. We get distracted of our own life goals when we see our friends life path is greatly “success” than us. See, do you realize all of those is about comparing ourselves to other people?

As a matter of fact, it’s normal. In human life, comparison turns into place because we seek for something better and safer in life. Earlier in our history of human existence, we become aware of ourselves as separate beings is based on our ability to notice some differences of features and elements between who we are and whom we’re differentiating ourselves from. We compare by noticing distinctions about ourselves and about someone else. And by then, we can grasp the idea and recognize of ourselves as individuals – that all of us are separate beings.

Well, instead of celebrating treasures and values of our lives, we tend to perceive what we lack – what we think others have that we don’t.  This is starting to torment us slowly, that we have to be like that person because we have set this “ideal” life. With this, we have a hidden tendency to put aside and forget our deepest gifts and capabilities that others maybe don’t have. Shame on us!

However, comparing ourselves to others is not a sin, it comes naturally. Whether it probably destructs our personality or not, it’s up to us. We shouldn’t be so helpless that it’s ingrained in us. When it happens, understanding where it comes from, how and why it affects us, can give us some support and way to overcome such negative impact. And thus it should make us see our values, what we have and who we are.

Remember, often what we see in others that we think they have more quality than us is only in surface. We have no idea the journey they have been through, the steps they have chosen and reasons why they do what they do. In the end, it is completely personal. And we should too – no longer remain caught up in the mind fuck of what we aren’t and don’t have.

At least, contrasting the lives, achievements as well as success of someone else may encourage us to do beyond of what we’re afraid of. It can provide us mental and moral supports to live a more challenging life, with flaming desires that move us towards our personal goals – without sacrificing our personality by seriously acting and becoming those people that we admire.

It’s all about knowing your worth and fight for it. In the end of the day, it may not an easy route, but it’s your worthy life.


Sunday, May 19, 2013

What would make a better story?

Draw the art you want to see, start the business you want to run,
play the music you want to hear, write the books you want to read,
build the products you want to use -- do the work you want to see done.


Thursday, May 9, 2013

"Have you meet me?"

It’s probably not a big deal facing several types of annoying, stupid or bragging people. They’re all everywhere in the world. Chances are you may end up living with one or two throughout your life or, better, (only) several years of your life. These people may be coloring your life, turn it into something more intriguing and lively.

Well, I said earlier “not a big deal with several types of people”. Bad news coming, there are more level-up of bitching, moronic and shitty people you HAVE TO meet in your life for the sake of something happens for a reason. Believing that God won’t give you the obstacles you can’t overcome, or this will strengthen your character and toughen up your mental, or that’s just life – we can’t expect everything goes well all time.

You know what, screw it. Those relieving, inspiring words that perhaps had once encouraged you to just keep calm, do it and pray are damn over.

When you encounter some bastards or simply stupid people while you’re living your life tryin to chase after your dream, all you need to do is push them away of your road, show them that they’re stupid, wrong and stupid (have I said it?). Worse thing, when you’ve got to live your day-to-day life under one roof with this kind of people, all you need to do is act and think like a boss.

Forgo your feeling and logical mind for a while. Why? Because it’s freaking useless! They won’t and don’t ever get what you’re trying to say and do with your life. Quite the reverse, they constantly tell you they want everything best for you. They just want to help you because they care. They’re your blood-relative people that you need to think and take care of, whatever it means. However, eventually they keep trying softly and rudely that you can follow their instructions.

They tell you that your road is wrong, and to achieve happiness and success, you should follow their suggested road – just because everyone else’s doing it! Fuck it, you’re not everyone else.

At this phase of your seem-to-be-dreadful-days, you can no longer please everyone in your life. You need to pick the best strategy (and I know playing a little bit politic sucks) for your dream to come true. You must repeatedly tell yourself to Sparta on and just let the battle scars imprinted on you. You need to keep moving on your road and ignore everything that may ruin your future. Strategy, my friend, strategy.

Because you trust your vision, your feeling and your heart for all of these are worth to fight for. Because your life is too fucking precious to obey somebody else’s rules – doesn’t matter who they are. 

Thank you Jimmy Hendrix who once said, “I'm the one who's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to”.


Friday, April 26, 2013

Jakarta 2:32 PM

I love you

Thank you.

Thank you for loving me
Giving me your trust

How do you define love?

Buddy for life
A friend in bad and good time
Someone to share my heart
Consulting place
Supporting me without judging
Remind me when I forget
Guide me when I'm wrong
Someone that makes me stronger
Make me feel more alive
Better in faith.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Barbie is a mutant

In contrary to what Barbie is supposed to live with her deep blue eyes, perfect skin complexion, slim and modelish figure, great hair and wide smile - she is actually dying.

If Barbie was a real woman,  she'd be incapable of lifting her oversized head. And with her extraordinary proportion envisioned by Mattel, her figure seems to be more of Sci-Fi life than reality one. 

You might have heard that many researchers have been conducting their interests about this product of our pop culture period. In accordance to our society's disorders of eating, ideal beauty and body image, Barbie is one of them to blame for - truth's said. 

The latest infographic  appears on this subject is still grabbing our attention of the research, specifically medical approach to the question. Rehabs.com, a resource website for mental health centers in the USA, provides an unreachable beauty image shown by the iconic doll.

The above chart tells how the odds of finding a single woman with the same tall and thin neck as Barbie is one out of 4.3 billion in the world.

And if  the doll's physical measurements were given to a real woman, she'd only have room for half a liver and a few inches of intestine in her body, but room for a bigger brain. The bottom line is, Barbie is a mutant. Could she be one of X-men?

Barbie's fragile 3.5 inch wrists, her 6-inch ankles would prevent her from heavy lifting. Then, as far as holding up her entire body - despite so much of it missing - it'd be an entirely impossible feat requiring her to walk on all fours. As I said, could Mattel really overlook this in the making?

Beforehand, Mattel defended Barbie's slim figure because of the bulk her clothes' seams, snaps and zippers added. Furthermore, the male doll known as Ken - Barbie's soulmate - has also been included in the discussion. 

The physical comparison of the real men has shown to be generally closer than the Barbie vs. real women.
You see, we may perceive Barbie and friends as simply a doll, a product of styling games. Should it be put off away from children is your choice. Just consider they would not worship her for the future figure that could lead them to live a miserably false lifestyle to attain the certain Barbie-licious image.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

...and you cannot help yourself

You will look for the best in people, no matter how they choose to see you. 

Laugh until every cell in your body aches from that joyful pain. Find humor even where others fail to see it. But cry when you have been hurt. When the unpleasant pain can no longer be endured alone, let your tears fall and be proud of them. Know that you tears are your strength because they remind you that you are still alive, and that as long as you breathe, you have a purpose. 

Scream in the middle of open fields when you must. But do not get angry too often, you are far too blessed to allow anger to devour you. 

Love without inhibitions. Be vulnerable and let it hurt; it is supposed to hurt. You will be disappointed, and you will want to run away from everything. You will be beyond your humanity; your body and soul and spirit will feel at home. 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

She is she

"Sculpting Grace" by Charmaine Olivia

“She allows herself to feel things, good and bad; 
outrageous, confusing and heartbreaking.

She listens to those feelings, and trusts them...”

Monday, April 8, 2013

A real man

a real man makes tough choices choices which are too close … 
and absolutely everything depends upon them choices which are too far … 
and the right one is much more painful than the wrong one 

a real man changes diapers 
a real man sometimes loses and congratulates the winner 
a real man has a code of conduct which is not for sale 
a real man is humble for real 

a real man cooks for his lady and then does the dishes which he wants to 
a real man is scared but acts anyway a real man cares for his mother and rarely talks to his father, whilst caring 
a real man underpromises and overdelivers 

a real man credits truth above everything above his ego … 
above comfortable lies… above instincts... 
a real man knows there are real-er men out there and tries to catch up 

a real man eats pussy 
a real man has real friends every once a while 
a real man can change himself, his code of conduct 
and above all 
a real man is in love love, 
without which he is nothing love, 
the absence of which can break him

source: here


Sunday, April 7, 2013

Look beside you

They make you laugh a little louder,
smile a little brighter,
live a little better,
than before...

Monday, April 1, 2013

Where should I position myself out in the world? (Part II)

"Learning To See" by Charmaine Olivia

As A Friend 
Honestly, I don’t really have billions of friends. In reality, I can count my good friends. They came from different milieu: from college, the past work, the sport community, another sport community, and another sport community. Predominantly, these people know me sort of well, and no matter how far the distance of us or how only a few times spent of get-together, we keep in contact and chat about any of stuff. Sometimes we share our stories, life, be them shit or good news; and sometimes we only ask how we’re doing. 

Facebook friends? Statistically speaking, 35 percent is known family, friends and good friends (yes, they’re different); 25 percent is online shop pages ranging from women clothes,shoes, outdoor thingy and Michael Jackson souvenirs; 25 percent is acquaintances and rarely-meet, but-I-just-know-them kinda friends; 5 percent is famous people (e.g: Kobe Bryant, Beyonce, Johnny Depp, Vin Diesel, Victoria’s Secret, and more) public figures and bloggers; and the rest is mystery – while everytime these mysterious FB friends show up on my timeline, I’d literally go after their pages and explore whether I know them, and if not, I simply click the “unfriend” button. 

I’m a bit picky when it comes to good friends, so I guess it’s the reason I don’t really have too many friends. It doesn’t mean that I am not friendly. Indeed, many say I am pretty approachable, open and with this cold-face, I turn out to be a pretty fun one. As a friend, I may not give my time dedicated to them, I should also portion it out with the family and myself. 

However, when I love my friends, I do mean it. I care about them, I care about what they think and do. When I close with my friends, I can touch them when we talk, we can talk shit and stuff like free – and I’m happy that I can be myself, not hiding anything and be another person for and with them. So, thank you very much for allowing me being a part of your life story. 

As A Lover 
Have I said that when I love my friends, I do mean it? It happens with whoever I love as my lover – a.k.a boyfriend/future husband. I am not a romantic person, I usually commit to it with action. Quite manly, huh? But when it happens to be melodramatic moment and feeling (like PMS and the period time), I can be beyond Shakespeare or Kahlil Gibran to my lover. And I couldn’t care less if he finds it odd, as it’s my way to show what I feel about him, dramatically. 

One thing about being a lover, I try not to drown myself into a deep feeling when in a relationship. I try to bring my head with me. I’m a grown-up woman, I am aware that I should act like a lady, not like a teenager in love. Despite of it, I’m pretty serious about my love relationship. At the beginning I fancy someone, I do not fall to them straightforwardly. I tend to explore and find out his personality, his way of socializing, his hobby, life ethics, norms, his way of thinking, his sense of humor, and in the end, his background and family. 

Why am I doing this hard? Because, having a relationship is major. It takes another part of your life. It will consume your time, feeling, energy and it requires your sacrifice to survive. You cannot expect it will last longer if only one who fight for the relationship, can you? Whereas if you really want your lover to be partner for life, you must be all out preparing everything for it. That’s what I’ve been doing anyway. 

As a lover, I may not perfect in taking care everything between us as we still have our lives as single person. Yes, I was jealous of something, and I’m still asking myself if this is worth to be envied. I trust you for everything you are. And I believe it will be beautiful in the end if we work hard to make it so. 

And I’m thinking of a life buddy who will be there, supporting each other achieving our supreme dreams. 

As A Blogger/Writer 
I write what I want, what I like. Despite of my imperfect editing, word selection and descriptive story, I find writing is my another remedy. Why I write? None can understand the feeling of relieveness but me, and none should judge why I write something just because of myself. For the sake of my own happiness, I own a blog which I’ve been maintaining since 2009 – beforehand it was password/username forgetfulness. 

When I travel, I write as I desire to share the surroundings of the place I visit to everyone. I look at my writing as if I have ever known the place, as if I was the reader. When I feel something, think about stuff I see around the city, I pour them out. As boredom strikes me in the office, I write in draft – not posting it due to several may-contain-dangerous-effect reasons. I may hate self labeling, but this is one role that I like to keep it to myself – not to mention that some friends know this and cheer on me to keep doing it. Mouth-blabbering is overrated, now if human would shut up and create legacy. 

As A Human 
Mind about others as we live with billions people out there and we cannot for a second disregard their existence for the sake of such self-centred maniac. Human, for I am, has feeling, brain, blood, heart and dreams. So why don’t I respect and tolerate others who have the same life lane as I do, with different dreams and attempts. We might be born in different family, named in different meaning, walk in different shoes – but it doesn’t justify you, me and us not to give others a chance to taste their lives. 

The bottom line is, this role is everything in my life. As a human, life is hard and thus I’d better not make it too serious living it. I should have fun with everything happens in my life, I should remember my duty to Him, I should feel what I feel and cherish it, and I should just be as human as I possibly can. You know what I mean... 

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