Sunday, March 17, 2013

I am more than I thought I knew I was


Couple of times, I’ve read several articles stated that we need to list and write down our goals, dreams or any of travel or wishes bucket list so that we can visualize and take on real actions about them. I nodded after reading it and said, “Yeah it’s a good one... I may want to try to do this”, and ended up never ever writing down the goal and target. 

I am not a loser who’s scared to put them in the writing. Simply, besides of all my folders, files, photos and movie files in the laptop, I don’t even think I’ll be so diligent to check back and update the list or to maintain it. And when a number of list has yet achieved, how am I supposed to write down the deadline for the next action? Personally, too many hassles required to develop this thing. I always encounter unexpected situation in the middle of the journey. Whatever that is, it surely affects my stated bucket list. Either I need to adjust the list, change the deadline or methods about how can I accomplish it, or delete it whatsoever. 

Nevertheless, I do have MILLIONS of goal that I want and wish them to come true. No, I don’t just sit around and daydream, acting like dumbass dreamer who wants everything goes smoothly performs in the line. Yes, I do try make things work. I try and fail. I fail and learn. I search for some answers for a better movement. Lesson learned, sometimes I procrastinate and it is fine. 

Some of the time, whether I realize it or not, I am aware that I need to know more, network more often and hungry for anything challenges and adventurous. In some other time, I am a pessimist and pussy that I almost believe I will screw my life when I’m about to do something – however, I can be a confidence woman everytime something new comes. 

I create my own challenges, develop my own stepping stones and decide what to do next. I know what my strength and weakness are. But those things sometimes fade out of my sight, I don’t even know who I am and my capability. This resulted from my super awesome over-thinking proficiency and thank God I am a Virgo. I am tired of myself, but never give up on what goes around. It’s kind of full of twists and turns, isn’t it? I knooooow. 

This, I won’t conclude anything I’ve ever experienced throughout my life. When things are going wrong, it doesn’t feel right and excite me; I realize I need to do something – not to change things around, but to change my current condition whatever that is. 

You know, I must quoted Destiny’s Child groove: “I'm a survivor, I'm not gon give up, I'm not gon stop, I'm gon work harder, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, Keep on survivin...” 

xx

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