Monday, March 25, 2013

Where should I position myself out in the world? (Part I)

"Violet" by Charmaine Olivia

In this life, we as humans have captivating roles in various situation, different places and several titles. Those many acts cannot be seen less important than another. At one time, we should be this person, while in another time and at another place, we need to be another kind of role. 

This applies to everyone out there, be them public figures, president, directors, carpenter, fisherman, student, driver or ballerina - male or female, adult or elderly, important people or common people - politically speaking. And these below are my roles. I write them in two postings so that it won't take a long, boring time to glance at.

As A Daughter / Sister
Born as the first child, female, 4-year gap to my first brother is supposed to be not that difficult. As a matter of fact, unconsciously people are so demanding. I was expected to be the best, to be the pioneer of my two brothers, to be a good example for them, as well as to protect them. I remember when I was a kid, I never thought of all of these aforementioned for a second. Nevertheless, I kept my school grades as great as I wanted them to be. 

A couple of years ago when I was in college, my parents said that my brothers looked up to me because I’m their “role mode”. Really? – how could I believe it, when at that time everything I’d been doing was intended only for myself? Yes, my school grades were awesome, my graduation score was superb, my college performance was incredible – speaking of academic performance, y’all. 

Besides, I don’t think my brothers should imitate me at all, I’m not seeing that in them right now. They’re busy with the college student activities as well as the classes, and that’s beyond cool! I never had myself being lost and busy in the college student activities; it was all about graduated earlier, great scores, got out of college as soon as possible. How geek! 

What’s more would be being the daughter itself. Why couldn’t I be the second daughter and have my elder brother? Or why couldn’t I have another sister so I wasn’t the only daughter? Why oh why, Gosh? This is stupid and I should’ve never brought this up. This is destiny – lame. 

Well, one last thing. 

Dear parents, why don’t y’all just let me finding happiness with my own way, getting success in my own path – all that I need from you is your genuine permission. 

As A Worker 
I should meet my superior and company’s expectations. Indeed, they have seen through my resume, observed whether my proficiencies are suitable with their quest and identified my facial expression through interview session. Thus, it’s reasonable if they have faith on me accomplishing assignments and sitting in some position. 

As a worker, I should obey the company’s policy and rules. In the end of the day, it’s them who pay me for my contribution. In the end of the day, it may be seen as not only the need and duty of working, but also the essential of creation, making something from what I have. 

However, I still have the right to be myself, work with my own way adjusting to others’ way of work – without abandoning the responsibility and accountability of the job desc. If the routine or rules at work exasperate my self-respect, dignity and personality, I absolutely can address it and solve it. In the end of the day, I should liberate myself of everything that hold me back from being myself and pinching my happiness. 

As A Part of Society 
This is terrible. I never knew what society wants me to do. They seem to be very hungry of anything uproars. And it feels good to be none like their hopes. Everyone has their own life to live, has their own goals which can be different from another person, so why bother? Do you have anything more important to do, people? Society is ugly. 

The good thing is, I can help other people in need, support social movements in action or do my obligation to the country (like paying tax and stuff) even though I can't expect an utmost payback from the country to its citizen, frankly. 

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