Monday, August 26, 2013

In your own shoes

From the very beginning you started to see yourself in the mirror, you knew you're going to be "something". Even though you had yourself some milk, ice cream and chocolate stained on the mouth. You're too lazy to clean up and went straight to your warm blanket. 

Not so long, you saw people, several friend and strangers seemingly got busy with whatever they did. You wondered whether they recognized your kindness or stupidity. You waved hands until your hands became numb; then you said you should've not care at all. After all, you looked at your plates and started to work on it - you got things done. 

Bustling with your surrounding has been your routine. The hassles once you thought did matter, they actually didn't. People once you felt were profound, they turned out to be all suckers and hoes. They haven’t been heeded about anything you feel and think. They have lost integrity for the sake of getting whatever they wanted or they think were extremely important that they cannot live without. 

Nevertheless, you keep on walking. Alone and don’t care. When pebbles tackled and confronted you, yes you’re scared, but what the hell. You think of what worse could possibly stop you. For a second you might think to just give up and die, but you didn’t. When people threatened you with their expectations, you’re choked and feeling bad of yourself. 

Now, when things get on wheel for bad or good situation, you seem to relax. You’re alive and breathing, sensing the future and dreams. You’re kissing the happiness and cuddling the hopes. What's in your head doesn’t do you anymore, at least 43 percent of it. You need to fix yourself and build up a strong character. You pat yourself on the back and whisper, “Great job, have fun, missy!” 

Because, you know, fuck everything else.


Sunday, August 11, 2013

A little note...

The Evening Gown (1954) - René Magritte

Every negative emotion we've ever had, no matter how meek or well-hidden, has come from the lack of what we really wanted (mostly, admit it?). Take blame, for instance. We blame someone or something for giving us what we do not want, which is only the lack of whatever it is we do want.

We're worried about losing someone or something, so we're fearing the absence of - the lack of - that something or someone.

We're fearful of things "out there", because we lack the feeling of safety.

We justify and rationalize, because we lack of someone's approval - even our own!

We feel depressed, because we don't have something we want, even if it's nothing more than feeling good.

We feel anxious, because we lack the time or resources to produce.

We feel insecure about ourselves, because we tend to underestimate or doubt ourselves of what we capable of.

Every negative feeling in the dictionary comes from lack. And thank goodness for that! I am saying that thinking and feeling positive are a lot easier said than done. However, if we're willing to make our seconds in life better and expand the excitement within, we certainly can! And how?

It's the feelings that would do it, not the thoughts alone. It's the feeeeeelings and feelings and feelings that come from out thoughts.You know what, we get what we focus on!


Sunday, August 4, 2013

Eat it

I haven't had quite shaum (fasting) month well this year. The last 2 weeks of Ramadan, I must not to go fasting. Y'all hear it, "must". You ask me why? Well, it's an "illness" thing - even though I haven't been feeling that sick. It is glandular inflammation/infection kind of thing, which mixed up with skin allergies. They strike my left-back head and neck, which has a little lump inside. The doctor said it was because I was tired, stressed or a little bit under pressure and lack of nutrition. Lack of nutrition, halo, you sure?

At first week, I had a little dizziness inside my left head. It was strange as I had never ever in my life gotten that bad headache. It attacked me only when I was moving unpredictably, but not in the same pattern of movements (like nodding, fast walking, stretching my arms and so on). I was confused and thought I probably hit myself while sleeping so I got the headache. 

In the following week, it got much worse. It felt like my head was electrocuted - again, with undefined moves. I had to close my eyes just to let the pain off then continuing my activities. I dare to say I was scared to death, until a lil cute swelling showed up on my left neck. ZOMG, what the heck happened with me?!

Now, after a week of taking medicines and bed rest, it's starting to get better. I need to visit the doctor as my swelling hasn't been indicating any signs of disappearing from my neck and some little wounds of allergic appearing on my bottom left face. They are like wounds when you just fall down from your bicycle, open wounds stuff. They are little, but hurt and itchy. Getting more and more exciting huh? Eugh.

On the other hand, while my neck and head are collaborated in "such" way, my stamina and energy are just doing fine. Actually, I even thought I could go to the office, do some workouts and sports as usual; but I really can't and shouldn't. The doctor even wrote me for bed rest in my last week of working days before the Ied al-Fitr holiday rolling. (Hoorah earlier holiday, mama love ya!) And I need to emphasize the rest and another stay-at-home boring stuff more.

I believe this would get better soon as long as I keep going with the right meal and rest. I have my faith that this will pass, that this is not something I can't handle. Yes, it takes time to heal. Oh, have I told you the doctor said spicy foods, chips and snacks as well as fried foods are restricted for a little while

I've been thinking... sometimes, God has a really unique way to talk to you. When you ignore your body signals, you can keep going to what the hell you're doing. When your body screams out for a little time to rest, you neglect it as if you get nothing to lose. Well, I don't think I have my second thought about this anymore in the future. Why don't I listen to my body? Why don't I treat myself right? My body is my own temple and the only thing that carries my whole journey so far and forever, right? 

Probably, when stresses try again to strike me, I should try to keep calm and think straight. When I feel fatigue, have some time to rest. In the end of the day, it costs me nothing but health. And now, health is so damn expensive. Investment, buddies, invest in your own healthy mind and body.


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