Friday, October 4, 2013

Hi, I'm a 20-something gurl! This is a story of my life...

My birthday has passed – September 9, 2013. And yes family and friends wished me best of luck, if not something else. Yes, I’m grateful being in the place where I am now in my 24th. And thanks God, I’m in my superb condition and other great things. 

But the birthday spark has long gone, for me. I don’t really see celebrating the day I was born is something sacred, special or one in a million moment. And in this last birthday I was a little bit stressed out – but hey relax, I could handle it. 

Living in 20-something phase of life is terrible. I should force myself to bust my ass off within 24/7. I must get up so early just for the sake of workplace finger-print. I want to figure out what I wanna do in life as myself, not as someone’s employee – but dammit I work my energy for stuff they pay me. Of course I need money for living, you know girl’s gotta eat. For a second, I thought I know what my life is supposed to be, but then I was in doubt. I shift my mind as quick as shit, blame my overthinking brain capacity. 

What the hell, but I am still young at heart. When bad days come, I think of doing nothing. I want to just play, travel, take photograph, hangout and laugh so hard without having the weight of the world on my shoulder. When I want to go adventurous in the nature or wild in the city, I just do it without considering my parents’ expectation of me. When I feel a bit sassy, I want to burst in the most happening boutiques and stores to grab whatever the hell I want and don’t care with how much I need to save. 

This growing-up timetable seems a bit confusing. I know what I have accomplished right now is not really the best that I can pull off. With many personal things going on and on these days, being miserable and sabotaging my own life are on a daily basis. Ha! Loathing reality is way much easier than consider my blessings. I know I am not alone, face it. But yeah, it is what it is – that sometimes I need to review what my life has been going through in order to understand what I really want to do and improve for the future. 


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