Thursday, November 27, 2014

Do not eat anything too healthy

I was super sick and needed bed-rest for 2 weeks. I ate super clean and healthy meals, I cooked them myself. I did workout religiously, I happened to be a workout, adventurous-seeking gal who always bored of doing same training stuff and then switched to other exercises just like that.

But then I got sick. You know how that felt? Sucks.

The pain was real. I got nausea, then diarrhea, then they occurred together. I didn't got fever nor cold sweats, but an uber pain of nausea and stomachache on my left abs -- that's gastritis, the doctor said. Blood and liver were lab tested, so that I needed to go back and forth to the hospital.

I went to three doctors, three different hospitals within 2 weeks. It ain't fun at all. Besides, the 1st doctor said I only suffered from acute diarrhea, the 2nd diagnosed me with paratyphoid, and the last one said it's only gastritis.

Anyway, feeling so much better now does not mean I can eat anything I want. My body hasn't recovered 100% yet, I'm still feeling exhausted and like I don't have more energy to do anything other than going home and relax. I ate them pills and meds like crazy, with time schedule and regulations. Eugh.

For the next one month, I should consume more protein, carbs and salts, less green veggies and no brown rice. Limit the intake of high fiber foods, muesli, even any kind of nuts and milk - including cheese, yogurt, ice cream, cream, and all of the happiness in the world :(

You know, basically everything I have in the home now, I can't eat them. All of them is too "healthy" for my current situation. Oh, have I mentioned that it's restricted to eat spicy and sour foods? I am basically doomed.


Thursday, November 6, 2014

Love is not just a feeling

During a seminar, a woman asked, "How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered, “How do you know?” 

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the author. Here’s the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning, you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there, doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. 

But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” 

And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. 

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And temporarily, you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found. Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands wisdom. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision.” Love is not just a feeling.

*Source: Pinterest

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

What one-month marriage feels like

People said marriage will be all honeymoon for the first 6 months up to a year. Some others said we will be changed and surprised of the many things our partner do that we don’t even know. Even people said that the wife should take control of the husband’s life, house, money and children when they have one. That is, I may say, pretty extreme – because I knew I and my husband don’t acknowledge and perceive those “stereotypes” when we were about to get married.

September 21, 2014, was not just a history – it became a stepping stone in my life. I’m only 25 years old, and never in my life I’d ever expected to get married in such “young” age. Reality check, getting married was awesome. I had a party where I got to see all my lovely friends and family, whom I haven’t met in years, and it excited me! I mean, when on earth would I have a chance to gather all of my friends from different scenes to one big event?

Besides, the first month of marriage has been great. I have anticipated my husband’s habit on stuff and his routines to get along with mine. Thanks God, my husband is a thoughtful, supportive and caring person who is willing to get down and dirty with me in taking care of the house and other daily needs. We get tired together, we wake up at noon, we stay home sluggishly without pants and brushing our teeth, and we shop groceries and household needs together. That sounds like Disney, fairy tale story of a happy, rainbow marriage right? But that’s the truth.

Yes we’ve drawn into a fight, a little argument and some crying scene. That are the spices, the proof that even though you feel emotions and have some thoughts that don’t (have to) match with your significant other, you stay. And the point of all the dreamy and happy, tempers and emotions situations are staying – respect your marriage you just started to build, your husband’s feelings and yourself. Compromise, peace and respect – and to start these all, you need to talk to yourself that ego and selfishness are no longer allowed.

My husband has his own visions, while I have mine – but we have some dreams to make true and support. While marriage may be seen hard or complicated or not-so-important for some people, I do think that marriage gives me a ticket to see this big world, with a friend of a lifetime. Passing a one-month marriage, I know that my life with my husband is all warm breezes till the very end.


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

For Indonesians only: Your 2015 Holiday Calendar

Enjoy your 10 long weekends with only 5 days of leave in 2015.

Get prepared, working folks! Go searching and hunting for trips and hotels, book your flight, arrange everything and be thrilled because 2015 is going to be AWESOME!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

21.09.14: To infinity and beyond

We loved with a love that was more than love.” –Edgar Allan Poe

I had never imagined that I would be married at the time I was 25. In college, when my girl friends set a goal to tie a knot at around 24-26 years old, I was the one who always said, “I don’t know when I’ll get married. Even, never thought about that.” I was, and still am, wondering, what’s all the fuss about? My girl friends have been swallowed by Hollywood chick flicks and Disney tales about the wedding and love thingy. For me, it’s simply cheesy.

Well, it turned out, I just got married on Sept. 21. It still feels surreal, I’m asking myself, “Am I married?” Because frankly, besides the ring clinging on my finger, I feel like I’m living, hanging out, playing and laughing a lot with my best friend. They said “Fight like a married couple, talk like best friends, flirt like first loves, and protect each other like brother and sister – obviously it’s meant to be,” that’s probably true. A more noticeable difference that could tell we are married is now I can poke him after taking wudhu (a certain purification procedure before perform prayer). Then I was like, GOSH, I am a wife!

Beyond all of the intense, fun and pain of dating, meeting the big families, to wedding preparation, and moving out to the apartment, we’re all about thrilled and laughs. Now, I have a singular someone to talk to, to play with, to annoy, to hug and kiss every. single. damn. day.

The fact that I love him, make me feel like I want to cook for him and bring him lunch all the time.

Because I love him, I feel that my soul is naked as he tumbled down my wall.

For the reason that I love him, he makes me feel that I am his world. His only world.

And for the moment of the magic, I knew I love him for the million things he never knew he were doing.

*P.S: Thank you for everyone for the wishes, and for attending my wedding reception party, for the help and support as well as advises for living the newlywed transition (:


Tuesday, September 9, 2014

I'm feeling 25

I’m officially one quarter of a century old. That means my life is 25% complete and 24 was pretty great.

I’m not saying that getting older is horrible – it’s just terrifying. At my 25 years old now, I can’t even figure out yet what I’m going to do for myself. My dream, hopes and everything, it’s getting bigger, but not clearer. In short: What the hell should I do for my future self???

But anyway, 25 years old is going to be AWESOME. I’m getting married in 2 weeks and going to have a new status: someone else’s wife. When other people probably think that it’s a hard task with the decision to get married and settle down, for me it’s going to be fun. I will have my partner in life to do and share with everything, like EVERYTHING. We’re going to explore life together, get messed up and awesome together, and play together – until death does us apart (amen). So, crossfingers!

Besides, being 25 means I get to get my coffee every morning of my life. Because hey, I am responsible of what I do and I know what I want, right? That coffee thing is just a metaphor. I can get anything at anytime I want without asking someone else’s permission. That’s happiness.

Happy birthday to me!

Looking forward to kicking off the second quarter century of my life. Cheers to being 25!


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

On Struggle in Eating Healthy

I am no stranger on eating rabbit’s foods (read: raw veggies). Thanks to my mum who has enforced me to eat anything on the table since I was a kid. By eat anything my mum serves, she said, I learn to be grateful of things I have. There are many, many unfortunate people out there who cannot even eat three times a day – and when I and my brothers are fortunate enough to eat sufficiently, I’d better not too picky with the food I eat.

Regardless, I am a picky person. Of course I eat whatever my mum cooks in the house. But being picky for me means choosing foods you should and shouldn’t eat. Thankfully my mum tries to serve veggies all the time. This “culture” of mine strikes me right on the head when I’m outside the home.

Indonesian food is not what it looks like - fresh vegetables and protein. Nope. You can have: Stir fried spinach, fried stuffed tofu, capcay, or chicken soup with coconut milk and rice cake (ketupat sayur). Are they "healthy" enough? Well, maybe yes for 33%. But the rest 67% are rich in cooking oil, mixed with santan (coconut milk) boiled and stirred with 21 types of spices to its utmost delish, finger-licking dishes that could give you the ultimate foodgasm.

This is what I’m talking about, it’s not easy maintaining the healthy eating while my environment is “unhealthy”. I may have the curves, with 10/12 clothing size, but it doesn’t mean I don’t watch what I put into my mouth. In the past few years, I’ve been managing eating healthy and clean quite better. I buy the groceries, stock them in the fridge, prepare the meal for office lunch, and so on. I feel better, my body responds well and I think I’m happy with the overall result. I don’t get sick easily, my immune system improves and, when I workout, I feel more powerful.

When I put “struggle” on the title, I don’t only point out about the regular Indonesian foods. Another issue to cope with is people’s comments about what I really eat.

“You’re on diet? Ah, the girl’s getting married!”

“You actually eat this kind of food everyday and never get bored?”

“I’m so jealous of you. I want to eat just like your veggie-packed lunch, but I just don’t have the time. My morning is already hectic."

“Do you prepare this yourself, or your mum does it for you?”

“Hey you’re losing weight already, what’s the point of eating like that anymore?”

Etc blablabla so annoying…

See, you got my point, didn’t you?

What am I supposed to react to these questions other than, “Yeah, this is my regular lunch meal. Please stop asking me questions, because I’m so jaded with that kind of questions…”

But, dude, I still eat donuts and order French fries for dinner several times.


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

To shave or not to shave

I adore beards. Men with beards, generally speaking, facial hair. Men without them hair on their faces are just like..... not macho enough. Beards are hot, you know. You gotta feel it, in your heart. 

I mean, what's the point of being a man without the facial hair??? D'oh.

I see muscular (or metrosexual) men, with super handsome face and sharp cheekbones, but their shiny, no-facial hair face? EEKKK!

I see casual-style men hanging out, with their crowded, messy beards. EEKKK! Dude, at least try to take care of your facial hair -- it means you take care of yourself.

I see half-beard men... err, I've never seen that one though.

Even stated, "Past studies have found that men with beards look tougher, more aggressive and masculine and would make better romantic partners." Alas, guys thought clean shaven looked better than a short, five-day beard, and women actually rated smooth faces as the least attractive. 

I don't know about you, but stubble, van dyke, full beard and chin strap beard types turn the heat on for ME.

What about you? You like beards (or men with facial hair)? Why not?


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Emoji to life

Emoji are originally the ideograms or smileys used in Japanese electronic messages, the use of which is eventually spreading outside Japan. The word emoji literally means "picture" (e) + "character" (moji). Emoji is no odds for almost everyone in the world right now. Especially chat and social media applications on your phone are now equipped with various emojis, that make you literally waste time for choosing the perfect one or two to send.

It is used when you surf the cyber space, flirt with someone through texting, #LOL with buddies with plain face, instagram your #foodgasm and #ootd, as well as tell your Path friends the music you're listening and so on. While in the real life we're getting used to "like this", "retweet", or "repath, an artist Nastya Nudnik put them into her art pieces. The Kiev, Ukraine, artist has imagined the classic Michaelangelo or Edward Hopper utilized today's social media symbols by juxtaposing the arts form the old era with 21st century language. These arts bring unspoken emotions to life.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The Penniless Photographer

Calling himself (and his website) The Penniless Photographer, Zeren Badar is a NYC based self-taught photographer and artist – an ingenious and quick-witted one. The Turkish artist places unpredicted items such as chili sauce sachet, pencil, raw egg, Danish cookies, and even a stamp, straws and ties on top of old paintings (not real ones though). Take a look by yourself and see his 3D collections which are very attractive, innovative and genius!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Consistency of purpose

“Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. 
The only completely consistent people are the dead.”
― Aldous Huxley

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Am I as bored as you are?

When you feel really uninspired, but you need to walk everyday like a damn warrior, what do you do?

Because that's how I'm feeling - for the past few days. I feel so plain, flat and bored of everything. Nothing really excites me. I tried to do all routines like normal, but then I just felt more horrible. Did I feel terrible for myself, my life, or what, that I can't figure out.

I worked out, cooked, read, wrote, watched movies, even went for shopping and grabbed some coffees and great pastries, nothing worked out. Oh Gosh, what am I supposed to do now?

Jobs at work have been not really tempting, also the social life. I need to slap myself on the face, tell people to gtfo, and put my shit together, don't I? Because whatever I think, do or feel, they don't matter. That's harsh, but what about a reality check without a little of blood, sweat and tears?

#whetever #dowhatyougottado

Thursday, May 8, 2014

The sky is my roof

I can read my inner soul. Here's the thing, I even do not realize or do the thing again in the past few years, but I know that I WANT  to do it - I simply love it. When something reminds me of the been-there-done-that moment, it gives me goosebumps. It makes me recognize why I did what I did and I don't regret it for any seconds.

That is why I dare to say "I'm happy!"

*I don't recall when was the last time I made my own dress or kebaya or other clothes (well I can't sew, I give it to my trusted seamstress, but hey I pick and draw my fabric and design though). That makes me happy. The feeling of waiting for fitting with a little bit of bedazzling alteration, then ready to wear, it utterly gives me a cocaine high. I wanna do it again.

*A few years back, I joined a French body movement called Parkour. I actually kind of miss it. But seeing my time and schedule in the last few years, it's truly difficult to cope up and be consistent with the training every week. If you knew me, I am a type of person who don't like to do stuff half-heartedly - whether I put my commitment in there or not at all. Well, not to mention that my body... uhm, I don't think I can survive the training, yet.

Oh anyway, did I tell you last night I had a really, really nice dream featuring David Belle? I mean, ZOMG. Years back then, I had no idea who found Parkour - and yassss, it''s him. I and my close training friends often call him "Papa Belle", because he's such an inspiration for us all. Now? I still do adore and look up to him. I think I even smiled like an idiot when I woke up to turn off the morning alarm, took a shower and out on my morning beauty ritual. Oh thanks God, You know how to boost my morning just like that.

*Those crispy fried foods and snacks... Talking about self orgy! Admit it, girls (or people?) love carbs, oily, crispy food even kale and carrots are ashamed with themselves. Don't get me wrong, I eat myself healthily, but these freaking comfort foods never fail to please me. Yes, I still take them in small portion and bite, just to please my tongue. I never think of washing them out of my life, #YOLO, right? Besides, you know us, girls, we eat our feelings and lungs out. Feeling happy? Go eat. Feeling misery? Go eat. In PMS? Go eat. Feeling just normal? Go eat. Ah crazy world...

*Take my endorphin intake. I'm not talking about any pills or magic cream that make you sweat out a like pig (does pig sweat?). It's about doing sport activity or go on adventure. In the last 2 years, I am not really traveling somewhere, stuck in the big Durian city for $$$ and my whatever will-be-will-be future. But I promise myself that I'll be doing it soon... It has become my therapy. Anyway, tucking in routine workout is essentially important for me. I feel that workout (or any other forms of sport sweaty activities) has been my religion since I was a kid. When I don't do it, I get super cranky, tired and demotivated. The funny thing is, my family is not really sporty, outdoorsy people. I don't know where I got it, my grandma perhaps?

*Coffee. The caffeine is just too good to be true. I don't know what else, than chocolate. I love the smells, the many options of coffee recipes and the chill it gives me. My mantra is like this: Raining, a cup of hot coffee (black or cappuccino, not really a fan of latte or frappe), and book or blog + great music playlist. Oh yes, another orgy!

What about you? I'm sure there are tons of things that deliver you this "I fucking love it" words and feelings. Are you still doing it? Do you miss of doing it? Or, you even avoid it because you're not confident and let yourself overthink by the thoughts of doing it?


Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Things I learned when I was a kid

Lesson learned, life goes on. I had a great opportunity to explore my childhood world as well as to taste the teenager me-against-the-world moment. I was a chubby, a cutie pie, but an active, free-spirited kid. Having no regrets, I will be continuing any of lessons in life.

I remembered my childhood quite well and it makes me nervous. Some of the talents and cuteness of me have gone. I’m surprised that life has been changing me so much on any level. People I met, friends I known and things I liked – they remain in the past, and only a little of those is with me today. I keep asking myself; how did I do that? When did I start to do that? Who was that? What had got me attracted to those peeps? Why did I like that? This, I believe, is the reason why life is an amusing, roller coaster ride.

I was a badass. Recalling the kindergarten era, I was restricted to go out to play at night (until now, can you believe it?). At the time, it was a trend to play under the moonlight, after the sunset prayer, in the housing complex. Super important note: We played with the nature, traditional games, touching the dirt and grounds – not a digital game situation. Anyway, a few times I could not handle the tendency to play with my friends as they called out my name outside the house. So there I went! I stepped on my dad’s car, climbed up and down the fence and, voila, I was out playing with fellow kids in the neighborhoods. A few hours later my mom found out I wasn’t in the home, she searched me. I run away to my neighbor’s garden, hid from her and my babysitter, walked backwards to keep out from her sight with the help of the bushes and small trees in the garden, then I fell off to a fish pond. Damn, I had no idea there was a fish pond. Well, bad girl reaped what she just did.

I was twice a badass. I kicked my guy friends in their butt, literally. Fought anyone in the neighborhood who messed with my brothers – they were still some kids, while I (thought I was a grown up, but actually) was just an older kid. I climbed a tree on the edge of a river, and hung out there with fellow female friends while waiting for the sunset. At the time, there was a boy nearby the house who had a crush on me, but he was so mischievous to all of his friends, in a bad way. Besides, I never liked him and his thug attitude. So I slapped his face, kicked his legs and yelled at him to go to hell. Really.

I adored drawing – Focused on women illustrations, Sailor Moon, and dresses. If I could find my old school books, you might see what I did there: Big drawings and sketches on its every blank corners and papers. When I was in junior high school, I asked my mom whether I could study fashion design or other things related to drawings. She (and my dad) took it for granted and I was given sweet promises. Maybe they thought I never listen and saved to my heart what they said, but I did. Until I graduated senior high and got the words that I wasn’t allowed to study fashion design, I gave up my drawings. Now, the pencil, paper and my hands don’t go along very well.

I sang and danced Bollywood (and Britney Spears). No, I was and am not embarrassed – even though I don’t have the vocal and choreography qualities, but I got the nerves to do it. You have to admit, not everyone who actually love Bollywood movies and dances would tell the world that they do. Oh, and Britney Spears was hella awesome back in the days. I scrolled my tee to my growing teen breasts so I could display my belly button and hips while moving to the “You Drive Me Crazy” and “Hit Me Baby One More Time” catchy tunes; while looked at the mirror and mimicking the lyrics to Britney, my belly fat was in motion against the gravity. I felt like a rockstar in an instant. Thank you, Britney, for making my childhood super awesome!

I was a master (home) chef junior. In my 5th grade of elementary school, I beautifully made stir fried kangkung, fried tempeh and tofu, Javanese fried chicken and, the cherry on top, sambal terasi (shrimp paste chili sauce). It was not impossible, I watched and helped my mother cooked and prepared meals quite often. This thing I learned, I gotta get my own future children to do the same while they are still kids though.

I was a WNBA player and a cyclist. Not really had that WNBA skill though. Well, I joined the basketball student club in junior high just because I loved NBA, still do. I was quite tall compare to other friends at school, thus I was entitled as a center in my team. When we’re at a game, my friends called me a “crusher”. Well, I liked to steal the ball, hit the foe team’s shoulders if they tried to beat me down, and passed the ball to the shooting guard or forward. Oh, I rode my bike everyday to school, and put the ball in my bike’s basket. I think I was kind of fiercely cool, weren’t I?

I played drums, throwing the hand-horns, and was a (amateur) make-up artist. Forming a band, playing some punk pop songs, learned to play drums and advanced it, and performed on stage with a-la Japanese cosplay wardrobes. I dyed my hairs out of my curiosity under my veil, listened to head-banging bands and went out to the moshpit – local gigs and international musicians, then experienced fancy drinks and getting stoned. While my other teens at my age went to some hype pubs and bars, I slipped to the underground zone. The rest was history, but a great one. Did I tell you that I do make-up for friends, for casual party or cosplay too? I’ve been thinking to register to a make-up class in the near future. This would make a good side job and learn how to do business. 

I am wondering, what will I reflect about my 20-something life at the time I reach 30s?


Saturday, April 5, 2014

I see the wandering light

Deep thoughts have been hanging in my mind in the past few days. I have doubted something, and I am. I tried hard to relax my mind and think positive, think happy thoughts. But still, it lingers. 

It feels like my bravery is drop. My wittiness goes somewhere random. My confidence is up in the air, unreachable. And my trust a bit fades away. It's critical. The world knows me as a dorky, geeky,common girl who has always been buried in her thoughts and judgements. It is not me against the world -- it is me against my mind, which sometimes goes by itself. It makes me not a loner, but a person who locks herself out of the world and converse with her own self. 

What am I feeling right now? How could I feel this? Where did this come from? Why do I have a second thought? I just... this is, I can't do this alone. Just tonight, I got to see the city lights from the highways. It made my mind wandering, and again, I was locked. I could not speak. The more my eyes glanced at the lamps and lights in the yellow, red-ish beams, the more I felt down. 

So often my loved ones told me to speak, to tell people of what I think and feel; to say out loud about my opinion. That has improved, I became better in letting people hear my voices. I liked it. But this time, I sealed my lips, crossed my thought and glued my hands. I could not say whatever the heck I wanted, it wasn't fair and nice. I needed time to refresh my mind, initially. I needed to think all over again, about the stuff -- everything. 

I don't know. 

I guess, I'm just tired. 
Tired with myself and fed up with how complex I am. 

Jakarta, 10:25 pm. 

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Now, I'm just super mad

Sometimes it takes all your pride and bravery to leave all you’re doing and move to something unknown. Especially, when you feel enough of everything. It is not that you’re not grateful of what you have. But it is more than that – it is to leave things that are bad for your life, health, mind and attitude.

How you react matters a lot in encountering problems. But your surrounding and how you perceive them to be, that’s a hell lot of a big deal. You can’t just be wise, calm and positive when something awful happens to you, or people in your life and neighborhood.

You are human, you feel things. It is completely fine to say mean things to someone or something. It is great to utter what you feel and how it doesn’t damn fit to your standard (read: ideal) how-to-live-and-become-a-helpful-and-awesome-person-in-a-super-awesome-disciplined-and-thoughtful society principal in life.

At the end of the day, it is not about how much money you make, how much you save and how you spend time socializing. From the bottom of your heart, you whisper to God that you gotta leave the city and move forever to another city you might call home.

As home is a place you feel honest, celebrated and welcome. You already knew that, didn't you?


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

free·dom (noun)

It is a classic reality tale, unsolvable issue among society. Liberalism that goes right or wrong, everyone’s clueless.

People insist to have their freedom on their hands, while others yell their freedom have been taken by other fellow human beings – government, parliament, police, boss, manager, boyfriend/girlfriend, parents…

Does my freedom infringe the freedom of other people? If I value my own freedom, does it mean that I don’t tolerate anyone to “violate” my right to act upon something, for whatever the hell reason I want to say?

For 20-something me (and maybe other people, too), freedom has always been difficult thing to attain. Freedom looks exquisitely beautiful, appealing and sexy – at the same time, it requires efforts and hardwork to get. Because freedom isn’t free at all – as oxymoron as it may sound – you gotta take it from someone else, who dubiously have your freedom in their pocket.

It is difficult to even demand your own freedom, isn’t it? At one time, you were crafted to believe that you owe things to someone – your life itself isn’t free. You ought to pay something in return for the life you have now. At another time, you try to change your old faith that your life is all yours, and you owe nothing to anybody. At that time, you deem that freedom is in the air, you can have it at no cost.

Then, things change. You grow up, learn how to adapt to live, and think about your life even more. Freedom: you have no idea what it is or how to find it. You search for it, find it and lose it again. This time, you hunt the freedom – just like what other human beings do. You question yourself all over again: Where’s my freedom? 

Freedom is to live day by day without the fear of being judged or criticized of the lifestyle, fondness and love you choose.

Freedom is to do the hell you want, finish what you start, be responsible, but still respect what others do. Freedom is to say the hell you want, without hurting anyone’s life and the choices they make.

Freedom is to have options in life and decide what you think suits you best. No one else should make decisions for you, but respect what they may say. Second opinion doesn't hurt, but don’t take them too seriously.

Freedom is to listen to your surroundings, observe them and use your manner and brain to act upon something. You should never forget your roots are human with brain and mind, not ape.

Freedom is to celebrate your presence, to live in the moment, to use your senses and to care of your fellow human beings. Because you know that anything you do for others always matters to them. Forgo the "how much" or "how many" or "how big". Just ignore it.

Freedom is to relax, keep calm, and take a breath – everytime you feel like the weight of the world get to you.

Freedom is to have you to yourself. You treat your body, mind and soul the hell you desire. Because you wear your own skin, none else can taste it but you.

Freedom is to love yourself abundantly. No limit. No boundaries.

So, have you find your freedom? What is freedom to you?

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