Thursday, May 14, 2015

The six-month saga

"I love you with all my butt. 
I would say my heart, but my butt is bigger"

A six-month marriage is a little quicker to sum up how a marriage life feels like. There's a reason, you'd still feel you're "just" in a relationship - like a dating idea - but you're living, sharing bed and talking about financial shits together.

So a little while ago remarked a 6-month marriage for me and my husband. I must say it's nothing special from the Day 1 we got married until now - but it's unbearably awesome.

I don't know about other people, but thanks God there's no pressure from our families about having a baby. This has made me pretty relax about having one. We're just believing God's time and plan, not only for the baby part, but everything. Because in this culture, when you got married, people unfortunately care so much whether you have a baby, another baby, a house, new cars, new blings or new gossip. But never mind the bollocks, mind them not. Because it's gonna be your baby, not them. So why bother, right?

Moreover, communication is seriously significant. No relationship is perfect, but you have to try to improve - yourself and the relationship. I always keep it honest and open with my hubby. He told me not to say things in clues or subtlety. So I learned to talk to him clearly and avoid miscommunication. We attempt to tell one another how we feel and why we feel that way. It's fine to feel emotions, too. But do not hide the emotions in an annoying way, like saying "I'm fine, it's nothing" when you actually want to say "I'm angry about this because this and that."

You know, telling your partner your emotion makes him/her understand what you go through at the moment and how they can "feel" it for you. Even though all you want is only someone to tell to or cry on at the end of the day, your partner will feel really respectful for you and be needed by you - the one they care so much.

Another one is the freedom of your own passions and times. Being married does not have to make you so glued to your partner that you do not mind your own business. By this I mean, you and your partner still have the freedom to do whatever you both want and need. This will make you sane, your relationship is healthy and positive. I and my hubby understand and realize what we need and obsess. We have our own thang, schedule and hobby. When something else come up, of course we need to alter things up, and that is okay. The priority is still the relationship and what my hubby needs. Furthermore, this freedom must be equipped with responsibilities - you both trust one another, and put your partner on top of everything.

Tie your partner tight with your own terms and conditions will only hit you back. It suffocates them not to have anything else to do. You must bear in mind that in the end, your partner is only human, they have their friends and family, and they need the time to stay in touch with their own life that must not relate with you. If you demand to involve in everything so deeply, you must be prepared to taste the ugliest effect: Micromanaging your partner's life (re: control freak). Remember, your partner is not your property - he/she is a lovable human being, your best friend, brother/sister, life partner and lover. Respect their space and needs, and you are going to be incredibly happy.

The last big one is being married does not mean we both "must" grow up. I know, this sounds childish, but look again. I and my hubby basically two freak kiddos who have jobs, responsibilities and happen to be married. When real everyday life catches and you both take them seriously, you're dying, bro. I frankly have a kid heart and my hubby is just a little boy inside (uh hello, every dudes are simply boys, ages don't matter). It is totally great when we can act and do like kids and giggle about something or laugh hard of poking and joking someone else. If you do this without guilt or shame, congrats my friend, you just found your partner in crime.

Saying "I love you" (plus blow a kiss) wraps everything. Before you sleep, in the morning, before take a bath, after you fart or when you get mad at one another - that words are magic. No other explanation needed.

Cheers to the future and dreams!






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