Four months post-baby in few months ago, I was in luncheon with friends who celebrated her birthday. One of my workout-guru friend, who was a really nice person actually, screened me from head to toe and said, “You look bigger and changed.” I stunned and managed to smile.
How many times new moms (or mom at all) have faced the cultural pressure regarding their physical appearance? I can be assured that we, new moms (and all moms) do not need to be pointed out that our figures have changed. The society, including social media, constantly remind us how much we are expected to bounce back after pregnancy.
No. We don’t need to hear that. You don’t need to show and tutor us “how to get your pre-baby back after pregnancy” shit.
Inside, we, all women, know. You know. He knows. People know, that after pregnancy, women “should” try hard to get back to her ideal weight and shape. But the shit people may have forgotten is, no matter how hard we want to have an ideal “post-baby body”, we nurse and take care of our babies at home.
We are sleep deprived. We struggle to wake up in the morning because bae keeps up all night to breastfeed. We manage to cook and eat healthy for the sake of breastmilk nutrition while our babies cry or want to be carried to soothe him/herself.
The point is, our life has changed. While we want to fucking bounce back, it needs commitment, dedication and fucking time. At least in one to two year of post-baby, we barely have those.
You think I just making up excuses? Because you see moms on social media, especially Instagram, holding their 7 months baby while showing abs and shit with inspirational caption that ruins your self confidence and literally makes you want to fucking slap your flabby tummy, questioning why you can’t be like her?
Those #fitmom are not you, and you are not them.
You know, your jelly flabby tummy was the place where you gave life, grew your baby healthily – even though your body nearly gave up on you because of the weight, the hormones, and you put such effort to make your body did daily activities like other normal people.
Maybe, we can start bucking the system and instead start praising each other for being the amazing, life giving, creation birthing vessels that we are – moms.
I can assure you, that for me, my body doesn’t need to squeezed or changed based on what the world think we need to be. Instead, our body needs to be cherished and revered for the incredible life it just brought into this world. It is beauty. It is all it needs.
Of course, we want to work on ourselves. We want to be fit for ourselves and our kids. And it doesn’t need to be pointed out and put on the spotlight. We are having our insecurities while trying to raise little humans that depend on us.
That’s what I do. You have no idea how much I want to workout and get fit, because endorphin is lyfe, but I take a step back and do it slowly. I do not put pressure on myself because baby is #1 priority.
The things I can do so far are little steps: Balanced, healthy eating; when I have the time, I do workout – but when I can’t or feeling unwell, I don’t do that. As simple as that.
I don’t go overboard. Those #fitmom on Instagram won’t bow me down. They inspire me, but they don’t scare me.
And you shouldn’t. We, moms may have different approach and goals, but our priorities remain the same – to nurture and nurse our baby healthily and happily, watch him/her grow while having fun with all the process.